Some events just change how you look at a person.
One thing can make them go from someone who’s just always there to someone who matters…More than they should.
Kevin knows that no one would understand what he feels for Jeremy. Even Jeremy would be shocked if he found out. But what do you do when you fall in love with the one person you were never supposed to need?
When I’d first started climbing into Jeremy’s bed, fear had been the only thing on my mind—finding someone to chase the demons away. And who better than the person who saved me? Jeremy had always been careful to say how brave he thought I was, but I knew the truth.
I’d been so frightened and helpless. No matter what I would have done, if he hadn’t come running around the side of the house, I wouldn’t be here. Fighting the man who tried to kidnap me hadn’t been doing any good. I’d been only seconds away from disappearing when Jeremy saved me. So finding Jeremy when dreams turned into nightmares had been automatic.
At first, it had been about feeling safe and having someone to chase the bad dreams away, but after a while, it changed. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I think things began to grow into something more the first time I woke up and found Jeremy watching me sleep. It’d been a few weeks into therapy and the nightmares were starting to fade.
I had a few nights in a row where I hadn’t woken up at all. I’d thought everyone would be pleased things were starting to go back to the way they were before. What I hadn’t realized until the first time I’d woken up with Jeremy sitting at the foot of my bed was that things weren’t ever going to be the same again. For either of us.
I still remember opening my eyes and feeling someone in the room with me. Turning over, I had seen Jeremy there, and something in his expression hit me so hard I’d wanted to cry. He’d seemed so lost and afraid that it’d hurt to look at him.
I remember wanting to throw myself at him and hug him. To tell him everything would be okay. I hadn’t, but I still feel bad that I didn’t. Maybe if I had, we wouldn’t be in this endless cycle of denying what we wanted and hinting about what we needed.
If we’d both been more honest in the beginning, each telling the other just how scared we were, maybe we could have been more direct about harder things. Maybe I could have been honest with him the first time I’d gotten hard when he’d held me…maybe he could have been honest with me the first time he’d looked at me with that painfully loving expression. There were so many times…If we’d been more open, things would have been easier.
Now we were both at the point where the truth was so big it was like a huge canyon that separated us from each other.
M.A. Innes is the pseudonym for best-selling author Shaw Montgomery. While Shaw writes femdom and M/m erotic romance, M.A. Innes is the side of Shaw that wants to write about topics that are more taboo.
Shaw loves reading, traveling, and family. While not necessarily in that order, they all rank pretty close. Shaw has lived all over the United States and even Germany. While the coast of North Carolina is a favorite place Shaw currently lives in the Western United States. Current wish list places to travel to are Australia, Ireland, and Scotland, although the list keeps growing almost daily.
Shaw reads an eclectic mix of genres; everything from Mystery and Sci-Fi Space Westerns, to traditional Romance and all kinds of Erotica. Currently the stories in Shaw’s head are femdom and M/m taboo romance but there are some Sci-Fi/Fantasy that can’t wait to come out as well.
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