A survivor of violence.
I fought death and won.
So why do I feel so dead inside?Katya Waters is a small-town girl, mentally unprepared to deal with her deep, dark past. While walking in her sanctuary, her innocence was torn from her in the most brutal fashion- run to the ground as if she were an animal by a pack of vicious Hunters. After they wounded her spirit, they left her for dead.
How does one overcome a debilitating, tragic event? By strength, perseverance, and an unrelenting will to survive.
Out of desire, Katya no longer wanted to be the hunted. She hungered to be the hunter.
Finally taking her life into her own hands, Katya reached for what she’d earned, for the respect every human being so rightfully deserves.
By moving to a new city for the job of her dreams, Katya unwittingly brought her past nightmares to life, slowly drawing the repressed, dark memories into the light. With a deep desire to explore her true nature, Katya entered the BDSM Club, Restraint; never realizing there would be no escape from her secrets within the club’s walls. Katya’s entire existence turned into a living, breathing, never-ending therapy session from Hell.
The Boss pulled Katya into a thrilling game of Kat & Mouse as a way to force Katya to accept the truth of her past. Follow Katya’s heartbreaking journey as she connected the mystery of her past with her thrilling present.
… As long as I have a tomorrow, I can endure today.
I originally picked up Restraint as a Kindle freebie back in July 2012. At that time, it was common for me to “buy” six to ten freebies a day, so it was pure randomness that I actually read it within a couple of weeks of “buying” it. Upon doing so I was immediately compelled to buy and read the next three books that were available in the series. And while I have read several of the revised editions of Restraint, this is actually the first time I’ve ever written a review. Why? For me, Ms. Chilson happens to be one of those authors whose books affect me so viscerally that I have a hard time expressing my love for her work. She is my kink equivalent of Kristen Ashley – someone whose books are at the top of my reread list when I’m in a particular mood and whose work I love so much that I feel like anything I say is inadequate. And while my review writing skills have improved over the past year as a blogger, I still find myself grasping for the words that properly convey the depth of emotions I experienced when I read the 5th edition of Restraint.
As our criminal justice system has improved over the decades, I am fortunately among what seems to be becoming a minority in this country – a woman who has never been sexually assaulted, molested, or intimidated. I share this fact because I feel it is important to note that in the case of Restraint I have absolutely no personal experience from which to draw upon. Yet, Ms. Chilson has such a way with the English language that I felt Katya’s emotional violation each and every time she relived her assault in her dreams and memories. And while the act itself is horrific, there is a beauty in the way the author conveys Kat’s memory of the events and how with each recollection, more and more details about that fateful day are revealed to her by her subconscious mind – something I can appreciate due to my education. Even though the catalyst for Kat’s story is that day, Restraint is actually about the first part of Katya’s journey to healing and becoming who she was meant to be. That she takes this journey accompanied by a merry band of psychopaths (not really and said with affection) makes her tale all that more interesting. Even though this is easily the 10th time I have read Restraint, I still find myself overwhelmed by the sexual chemistry between Kat and Ezra, and Kat and Cort. Despite her past, or maybe because of her past, Kat’s need for dominance and submission is palpable as is the way she responds to those around her. Yet I feel I should note that Restraint is not an orgy – there is little actual sex, but there is tons of sexual tension and seduction occurring. Oh boy is there ever!
Restraint is the first book in the Mistress & Master of Restraint series and this (final) edition lays the groundwork for the entire series – of sorts. Ms. Chilson does an excellent job of introducing us to many of the key players, especially Ezra, Cortez, Aaron, and Queen, as well as acquainting the reader with a couple of characters earlier in the series than previously occurred. As someone who has read books 1-11 (most of them multiple times), it is easy for me to see where the author has tightened the storyline, closed plot holes that developed in later books, and provided more foreshadowing of future events that won’t mean anything to newcomers until the secrets are revealed later in the series but fans of the series will be thinking “oooohhh, I know what that means” while grinning like a loon <= yes, I did that several times while reading this edition of Restraint. I absolutely loved revisiting Katya and the gang and cannot wait to see what changes Ms. Chilson makes to Unleashed, hopefully sooner rather than later as I find myself drawn back into the world of Restraint, a ready and willing observer of the games afoot.
“Who says I’ll play with you?” Defiant, I test the limits of his boundaries.
“How can you not? You feel more alive right now than you ever have. Admit it,” Master Ez challenges me, and then thrusts up sharply, proving his point.
We both grunt from the force of his thrust. Panting in my ear as wildly as I pant against the door, Master Ez performs a sexual act that can never be described as dry humping. This dominant man is fucking me, standing up against the door, with our clothes still on– that takes pure talent.
Master Ez’s hand moves to flick one of the caps on my teeth as he bites my neck hard, drawing a squeak of surprise from my throat. Another flick to the other cap. Another sharp bite, marking the shit out of my neck. Movements jerky, manic, he places his hand back on my injured breast. His thumb rubs over the fingernail indents, reminding me of being accosted earlier.
Instantly, I learn a lesson: this is what it means to be truly dominated by a master. There will be no telling Master Ez no. He does what he wants, when he wants, only because he wants to, and you will like it because he does. I doubt this man uses a safe-word, because he’s not in the lifestyle. Dominance is his life.
The realization is as terrifying as it is life-altering. It leaves me stripped raw, bared to the man grinding into me. I can’t overanalyze it because my mind is fogged with all things Master Ez. I hunger to know what he can do to me, but more so, what I can do for him. I long to feel the sensations he will rent from my body, instinctively knowing he will either be my salvation or my ruination. I can’t even make the decision while he clouds my judgment with his very presence.
This is what it means to be at the mercy of a master.